As today, November 16, 2014, marks the 10th anniversary of my sister’s suicide, it seems a fitting time to write a post on death and suicide, starting with a disclaimer: death is ultimately a mystery and a sacred contract of the soul. Every contract is different and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to the subject. The views I will present on suicide and death are what I have observed from my work as a shamanic practitioner and are a reflection of my current personal cosmology. They are not meant to be taken as absolute statements or applied indiscriminately as every case is unique. I strongly encourage anyone who is contemplating suicide to seek help and healing and pursue other options. The mainstream healthcare system does not provide the full spectrum of help that is available. If the origin of suicidal thoughts and inclinations is not the soul, meaning it is not part of the soul contract to die that way, there are ways to address and resolve this situation.
There are several reasons why someone may feel suicidal that don’t indicate suicide as a solution.
One potential source of suicidal ideation is the presence of a deceased soul who has not crossed over. The portals to death are magnetic; they create a pull toward death. If the consciousness of a living person is influenced by that of a deceased person (think overlapping and cross-communicating fields of consciousness), they can feel that pull themselves. But the pull to death is not intended for the living. Our conscious perception can not always distinguish between “self” and “non-self” input. In this case the magnetic pull toward death that is for the “non-self” consciousness will be perceived by the consciousness as “self” causing confusion for the living person. Deceased souls who have not crossed over often carry a lot of emotional charge (they are often afraid of crossing over because of their belief system or choices in life). That emotional charge can also be experienced by the living person and can feel like unremitting depression, anger, rage, fear, or grief. It is unremitting because it is non-self energy and therefore cannot be healed or transformed by the living person. The alleviation of symptoms in this case comes through the release of the deceased soul.
The souls of the dead lingering in this world can influence the experience of anyone, but it is especially relevant to note when suicidal ideation occurs after the death of a loved one. In this case there are two possibilities as to the cause of the suicidal ideation: one is that the deceased person has not entirely crossed over and is being perceived by the living person, the other is that there can be an experience of soul loss if a part of the living person has gone with the deceased into the afterlife. In the case of the former, work can be done with the deceased soul to help them cross, and help the living let them go, in a time-appropriate manner (crossing over is a process that can take several months). When a soul part has followed a loved one to the afterlife we may be aware of death more than usual and feel that magnetic pull. Or we may feel like a part of our self is missing, or feel spaced-out and dissociated from life for an extended period of time. A soul retrieval can assist in bringing the soul part back to this world. I experienced this after the death of my sister. I felt like a part of me had “died” with her and I was checked-out to an unhealthy extent. A soul retrieval helped bring me back.
Another source of suicidal ideation, or a preoccupation with death in general, can come from the desire of the soul to go through a death-rebirth transformation. In this case we are likely to be going through a type of ego-death. Something is dying, so the awareness of death is relevant, but it is not the “Big Death” of the body, it is a “Little Death”. Dark nights of the soul can be like this. Some periods of depression are Little Deaths. In this case ritual can help facilitate the transformation of the psyche – ritual is an external enactment of an internal process. The enactment of the internal process in an external form is facilitative. Being out in the natural world which reflects these death-rebirth processes through the seasons can be facilitative, as can various forms of healing work, meditation, and other self-care practices.
I stated above that what we do in life matters. Not because of afterlife punishment, in my experience there is no punishment after death, but because death is not a get-out-of-difficulty-free card. We’re here on Earth to learn. If suicide is used to avoid difficult life circumstances the soul may not learn what it came to learn, and in that case may need to re-visit similar circumstances. In other words, a person may commit suicide only to discover they bailed out early and may have to start over in that particular learning. So it is not a solution to life’s problems even though it may provide temporary relief.
In some cases suicide may be a part of the soul’s contract, but that may be impossible to know in advance. I wrote a song about my sister’s suicide which includes the line “Mission accomplished or aborted, who can say?” As it is an irreversible decision with strong consequences, I believe it is important to exhaust all other possibilities first.